Chill Time Wit Roni: A Spotify Love Story
I love music. I won’t say “all kinds”, but rather a diverse selection of musical genres. Raised in a house full of older folks, I got hip to Soul, R&B, Smooth Jazz, and the Blues. Coming up in a musically diverse place like Chicago, I absorbed House, Disco, Alternative, Rock, and Rap. How could I be a child of the 90s and a teen of the early ‘00s without Pop and Hip-Hop influences? I can even admit to liking the creamy Soft Rock that would play in discount and fabric stores. I lose it for I Just Wanna Stop and Sailing. Captain of Her Heart? Heck yes.
There are memories woven into the songs of my past, and they push me to focus on the present and future. They help me to cry when I need to, finish a shower in style, or get those last thousands of steps out to meet fitness goals. These songs are swirling earworms that sing to me all day and night long until I open Spotify to ease the torment. These are songs that have motivated long farming sessions on games like Final Fantasy Tactics, Blue Dragon, and Final Fantasy 13. They’ve helped proofreading my long tangents of writing become soothing sessions of creation. My list — lovingly known as “Chill Time Wit Roni” — runs deeper than the image of yours truly sipping tea and scrolling social media to ease my mind. Some of the beats go hard, some soft, and others just remind me of a time when my life was as simple as what color barrettes went in my hair. They remind me of how far I’ve come. They remind me that life goes by quickly. Wasn’t I just 26?
The old school jams (some older than me) send me back to a time when my dad’s ’84 Towncar purred like a kitten and road trips were all paper maps and no GPS. A time when my paternal grandfather roasted peanuts and my grandma sewed flawless pieces to WNUA in the city. Dave Koz and Quincy Jones grooves, Kenny G and Winston M with arrangements so smooth that the finest silk felt like rough KMart sheets. This Spotify list is special because it takes me back to a time when my family was together. It brings me home to the little brown bungalow on Racine Street because I’m hundreds of miles away. The list is my heart, and it means more than a collection of songs to have as noise in the background. It’s the soundtrack to the after school rush on the Red Line back home from 2003 to 2016. It’s special because it fills in the blanks of a fuzzy childhood full of loss and changes. It reminds me of the will of my widowed father, and the love of my grandparents and aunts to make sure I knew I was adored. These are the songs I listen to because they did. The Isleys — a groove for every mood. Chaka Khan — queen of my heart, mover of my feet. Marvin Gaye — timeless, period. Janet Jackson — dance queen, jam diva, and secret girl-crush. Whitney — “The Voice”! Prince — my idol, my inspiration to create, everything wonderful about music as a whole.
When my grandmother cleaned, the radio was on. When my father would BBQ or we hit the highway to shop, the music blared. I fell in love with Toni Braxton and still can’t remember the name of the space-like ambient instrumentals that got eaten in the tape deck before his Lincoln died. He is the reason I adore Prince and can’t get enough of Smokey and Stevie. I’m trippin’ generational lines and absorbing the cultures of many, and it is all in one little list. I’m looking back and laughing at all the cold, fresh 90s looks and recalling how badly I wanted to be Brandy and T-Boz but settled for being my own little low-budget self. There are show tunes and funky instrumentals, one-hit wonders, and sex-positive jams I shamelessly dance around in lingerie to. The list is everything unspoken and special. These are the songs I often hum or hear in my head when the world is silent. My Spotify list is beautiful, and I’m able to see myself in every song. These are timeless, precious musical moments that mean everything to me. Where were you the first time Faith Evans came home?
I can’t forget the 80s. Granted the late 80s were very hard on my immediate family, there were some good times and even better songs. At the top of that list is obviously Prince for yours truly, the beauty of Cyndi’s voice and the flawless, loving warmth of Sade Adu crooning Smooth Operator and Love is Stronger than Pride. It’s weird, but I remember patches of my early childhood in the 80s, but I can tell you how good it felt to hear Luther Vandross vibrating and scatting through my dad’s stereo set. Am I weird for being so in love and marginally in tune with music? I can’t help myself! Back when Sears was still relevant, and a kid could get some buttery popcorn and an Icee for an even amount, the Soft Rock ballads and electronic mall tunes made mundane shopping trips moderately worth it.
The list is not private. I am rather proud of the list, often going to it when I work on projects, when I clean, or when I am in the kitchen. I refer people I care about to it often. If you follow me on social media, you'll often see me reflecting on songs from it. If you follow me on Spotify, you can’t help but see me using it. My go-to list is a long friend I've been cultivating and adding on to since 2012. When I hear a song I like, I add it. When I am reminded of a song I adore, I add it! It is my oldest and most treasured list, and a good way to get to know me. I don't think it makes me special or unique from anyone else, but I think that some of those songs — especially the forgotten ones — are great conversation starters. Other songs, like the well-known tunes, can bring people together just to jam and unwind. These are the songs that were cool when I was a kid, but now have this…seal of super coolness. These are bops that make me clap and rock with a deeper appreciation.
“Chill Time” is something that I know a lot of people see as sitting still or winding down. A lot of my songs on the list reflect that because I would usually access the list late at night. I was tired of the creepy ambiance of nighttime when I would be working on something. I used the list when I would do breathing treatments at home and I needed something to soothe me. I played tracks while I would be in bed at home reading. The list was a way for me to secretly sing along in all my untalented glory without judgment. If I wanted to sing along with Mya to Fallen, we could harmonize together in peace. If I needed a throwback with my girls to Stop, I could dance my untalented heart out and sing backup. When I needed my R&B fix, Mary and I could get it to Real Love.
My chill is looking back on old times, adding art to mundane spaces, and chair dancing the blues away. My chill might be “all over the place” to certain people (who never gave the list a try) but feels like home to me. My chill is Sade making love to my ears at 3 AM, then Li’l Kim givin’ it to me raw while I wash my locs at 3 PM. My chill is Rob Thomas and The Goo Goo Dolls taking me back to a time when I was obsessed about being a cool earth goddess in my green, never fitting in too many places but having a great team of friends to back me up. My chill is a reflection of all the good music that moves me, personally. It’s not a request for acceptance but rather a “step into my world” vibe. I like my little list. Maybe you’ll like it too. It's hard to describe all the wonderful music she holds.
To me, chill time can be free time, low-energy work time, or self-care time. Chill time could be farming on your favorite RPG game, or that mellow feeling while you’re getting dressed. If it’s got a groove that suits you, what does it matter how other people see it? These are the songs that make me feel good. These are the songs that remind me how cool and diverse the 90s were, and how anyone could access any sound. The older songs resonate with me, probably proving my dad right when he said I would have been a flower child in the 60s/70s. The list is a connection to the past, carrying auditory traditions along the way. A lot of these songs carry deep cultural significance. Black artists who epitomized excellence, style, and grace flawlessly. Women who were parts of Second and Third Wave Feminism, proudly exclaiming their right to be and breaking glass ceilings along the way. A kid doesn’t come up during the start of Lilith Fair and not come out the other side with nothing. My Spotify list is international, interracial, and wide open with some flat out badass music, PERIOD.
It simply is a wonderful list, and I hope that you will give it a listen sometime.
